jeudi 13 mai 2010

#Cuddychat : report of the whole Brizzly picnic w/ Lisa Edelstein

samedi 8 mai 2010

something that sounds like... a thank you!

I was 10 in 1996, when it all started, when i started to watch you, for the first time. i'd seen the first movie, loved it. Then heard there was a tv series coming from it, watched the pilote, loved even more. From there and then, and until the end, i watched every eps airing every fridays, or every tuesday, on different channels.. At 6pm, coming back from school, just before sitting in front of my homework, At 9pm, waiting for mama to come home and eat. At 11pm, while she was working and as soon as i'd finished my homeworks.
Years passed, and i started to go down, because life sometimes can bring you down, even though you don't know how or why. Even though you're 14. I've been helped, i have a wonderfull mum, she ever did anything she could for me. But the truth is, sometimes a mum has to be helped. I was searching for another hand to hold on, to try to get out of the dark by myself. Surprisely, I found this in few things and people. Horse ridding helped me, friends did too. I wont write down the story of my teenage, that's not my goal at all. I'm not complaining either. Just explaining something that's now deeply tattooed on my bones.
Watching you, and so i could go a bit further saying "with" you, i had so much good times, so much bad times too. You made me laugh, cry, broke my heart, then cured it, you made me wonder about life, how thing could be, how things should be, houw things have to be and what they really are. You made me wonder about myself, good things to do, bad things, about how can people change and how what they live in their life model who they are. I think this is also how kids grow. Watching news on tv, listening to music, reading books, going to school and watching movies. I watched a million movies, i love few tv series a lot, but nothing, nothing equals SG1. Maybe because of this. Maybe because during 13 years that was one of the only constant thing in my life. Maybe because it lasted 13 years! New eps every year, reruns in the mean time, fanfictions. I'm a SF reader, and a SF watcher, i love SF a lot because here again, i think you learn a lot about humanity and about yourself as an human being reading SF. More than in polars for example. So SG was like, perfect for me! SF, 'ship (i'm now a professional 'shipper! lol) that's an explosive deal.
Maybe if had not been so bad at this time of my life, i wouldn't have loved SG so much. Maybe was i searching for something "else". Truth is outta here yop? lol i don't have the reall answer. i think it's a bunch of reasons that finally lead me to light. The show, and other things in my life. What get me out of the big black hole doesn't really matters. SG is part of it and for this, as it learned me a lot, as it was something part of my days during 13 or 14 years, as i've built myself with it as much as with my brother, or music lessons, horses, friends, mum... a hundred other things, SG is now part of me. Well, i mean. I can't act like if nothing existed. Like if it didn't help. Because it did! And i grew up with this team, and now talking about Jack, Sam, Daniel or Teal'c (as well as Hammond and the others, even Ba'al, yes yes even Ba'al!lol) i feel like they're part of my family. Uncle Jack, aunt Sam. lol Let me clear it. I KNOW they're not. But they took part in who i am now, in what i think is good or right, moral or immoral, they're not the only ones but they're definately part of it and i can't deny it.
It's been a while now that a don't need them anymore and it's been a couple of years that the journey's over now. But i keep watching episodes. Sometimes. "Oh it's been a long time i haven't watched this episode, this scene! Ok let's go." And everytime, i end up with a smile. It still boost me. Not the same way as i don't need the same things now. But it's still there. This feeling that i found in no other series. There's a couple of other shows i love a lot. But it never had the same effects on me. So SG is staying still. Still living. And even if it's over now, i hope the fans will keep writing fics.
Reading fics will never be the same than watching a real episode. But it's like watching old pictures. You don't live what's pictured, but you remember it and it feels good...or bad.. or anything else! LOL but you feel something! And that's what counts the most.

Wow, reading what i wrote upper, it looks like i'm crazy. uh! Nope i don't think so. Now i'm ok, missing offworld missions sometime, for the fun, for the pleasure of my eyes but i don't need this kind of things anymore. That don't keeps me from watching tv series, and SG1 too.

All of this, wrote down on paper...ah.. yeah, no paper! ...so on...internet, as a big thank you to the whole cast, the whole crew. You guys changed my life, and are taking part in what and who i am today. i'm not the best girl in the world. I'm very far from this. But i'm trying to be better than myself everyday and THIS i think i learnt it from you.
SG will still be a part of me, as all the things that made my teenage years, good or bad, and i'm proud of it.

ok now i'm stopping the drama and you can get the violons back to their flight-cases. lol.

Thanks for the ride!
Bests,
Marion